#74: Guidelines for marital reconciliation

The couple's relationship over the years of married life has stages of communication and closeness that are exchanged for times of estrangement.

The stages of communication and closeness usually coincide with important dates such as:

• anniversaries,
• birthdays,
• the birth of a child
• the reception of a sacrament in the family.

On the other hand, the times of estrangement  are a consequence of the selfishness of the couple, which is trying the patience of both spouses every day. So the days lived routinely tend to separate the couple, while special days achieve the opposite effect, uniting the spouses.

The key is to have a married life full of special moments. Some of these moments spent with family in addition to those already mentioned are:

• the recitation of the Holy Rosary
• Mass,
• missions,
• works of mercy,
• prayer before meals.

Every day that the family does not have a special moment, the marriage is placed in danger. You should not wait to split up to start looking for ways to procure closeness with your spouse.

The reflection of today is based on a passage from the book of Judges. The quote is Judges 19, 1-10. I recommend that you pray before you read, to ask the Holy Spirit for His light.

Guidelines for marital reconciliation in the light of Scripture.

1. After a serious offense to your marriage, that by which your spouse probably deserves death and all your hatred, the first thing to do is forgive. In order for there to be reconciliation in your marriage, you must first forgive. To be able to return to the joyful life you must first forgive.
2. To be able to forgive you must first learn to be humble. The proud cannot forgive. To forgive is the ability of the humble. No one deserves to be forgiven, but forgiveness is an act of mercy. The humble know that God has forgiven and forgotten their sins without deserving it, and in return, they know how to forgive and forget the offenses of others.
3. The extended family must work together to achieve unity of the couple. Reconciliation is the responsibility of the whole family. Each with prayers, kindness, hospitality and whatever each can do to help to reset the unity. Otherwise, the people responsible for putting more distance between the couple are cursed, maybe not forever, but they commit serious sin. Each scan their own conscience and do not forget to forgive.

Let us pray to the Virgin Mary, to intercede for the unity of families, especially our Christian families, whom are called to be visible symbols of God's love.

May God bless you abundantly.